he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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