Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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