Apparently you make a good broom.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize