"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
