It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
