he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
