Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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