I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
