I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
