the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
