Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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