I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize