She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
