I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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