She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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