I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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