my mouth tastes like poor choices
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Randomize
