I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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