Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
