Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
