about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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