I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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