Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
