it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
