hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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