Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
