well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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