no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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