Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
It's like God shit irony all over that family
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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