This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
