Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
