i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
