the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
