he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
