I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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