Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize