its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
