my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
