You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
