so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
