we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
