it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
