Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
