never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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