I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
