When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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