its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
