We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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