While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize