i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
