I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
