he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
