And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
