How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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