trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
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careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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