is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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