Yo dont text me then not text me
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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