he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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