Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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