the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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