A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
