he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize