I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
